Transitions

I've been thinking about writing this post for a good week now, but it's just so much easier to write about the good things, and post cute pictures of the kids, then to write about something I'm struggling with.

It's been a rough week for me.  It is always quite busy and stressful in the week(s) leading up to a village trip.  There is an insane amount of work that needs to be done..... extremely detailed planning and packing for one.  Once we get to the village, that's it.  If I forgot anything (food-wise, toilet paper, clothing, bedding, schooling, etc) it's too bad.  There's no way to get it/any replacement for the 2 months we'll be out there.  So I make my lists, check them more than twice, and try really, really hard to not forget anything.  But it's still quite stressful.

And I'm realizing more and more that I'm just having a hard time with transitions right now.  We've all seen the affects of transition acted out in our kids, when a major move or change happens and they start having more potty accidents, or their behavior gets horrendous.  But lately, I've sort of been feeling like that toddler who's melting down.  I've been grumpy, and feeling like bursting into tears at any odd moment.

I recently had my birthday and maybe I can just chalk it up to being older now.  Probably not.  But it seems like transitions are just affecting me more.  Honestly, I am hating the thought (well, the actual doing it as well) of packing up my entire family of 7 (plus the food, clothes, schoolwork, etc for 2 months) and moving.  Again.  We've been here in Ukarumpa for a grand total of about 4 1/2 months now since returning from Cairns after Elijah's birth.  And I'm just depressed when I think of how these 4 1/2 months are basically the longest stretch we've been in one place without packing up and moving everyone since....well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure.  Maybe since we were in Dallas on our last furlough in 2010?  But that might have only been about 4 months as well.  It's hard to say.  Needless to say, it's been a very, very long time since we've lived in one place, without moving for more than 4 months at a time.

And I'm utterly exhausted and sick of moving.  I'd give almost anything to just stay in the same place for a whole year!  Imagine!  Not having to think thru and sort and pack boxes and plan food and get all 7 of us from one place to another, and settle into the new place, just to have to repeat the process a month or two or four later!

I think, added to the just normal difficulties of transitioning over and over and over is that the end of the school year/everyone leaving on furlough time is coming up as well.  When the school year ends in mid-June, it's a time to have to say goodbye to lots of friends who are leaving on furlough for the next year or so.  That is hard enough in itself, but this year I have a good friend who is "Leaving Finish"  (returning home and doesn't plan on ever coming back to PNG).  So I think I'm already grieving the loss of this friend, as well as the fact that I won't be here to say goodbye.  (They will be leaving about a week before we get back from the village).

I recently read a blog post from someone who used to be here in Ukarumpa, and I found it really helpful.  You can see it here: transition-sucks

Yes, I HATE moving.  Yes, transitions are extremely hard.  But, yes, this is the life that we have been called to by God, and while it can be hard (both emotionally and physically) both Matt and I are committed to the job we have been given, and are glad we can serve God in this way.  And He is faithful.  Despite my struggles, He is here, walking thru them with me.  He has promised to never leave or forsake me, and it's comforting to know that even when I am constantly coming and going, and friends are leaving, that I have a solid foundation that will never move away or leave me.