Pregnancy, Babies and All That Sort of Thing in the Village

I’m almost daily reminded out here of the numerous cultural differences that exist between me and the people who live all around me.  Sometimes they are just little, interesting things.  Sometimes they are much bigger, more complex things that lead to confusion and misunderstandings.  Either way, they daily serve to remind me that I’m an outsider and I often despair of ever having any close friendships.

 

During this stay, I’ve found it interesting to consider the cultural differences that are there when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth and babies.

 

Between this stay and our previous one, the wife of one of our co-translators had their 6^th baby.  I had known she was pregnant during our last stay (more of a “hmmm, I wonder if she’s just looking bigger because of the baggy meri blouse, or if she’s really pregnant” that over the 8 week stay developed into a “she must be pregnant”), but I had no idea when she was due.  But when we arrived this time, there she was with a cute little baby boy.   So naturally, I asked my friends, “what is his name?”  But no one seemed to know.  Then I found out from Matt that they just hadn’t named him yet.

 

So, backing up a bit.  I know that when I or my friends have been pregnant, we’re forever thinking about and talking about it.  What we think the baby’s gender might be.  What names we’re considering.  If this baby will be early or late or right on time.  I know my and all my friend’s due dates.  I see their ultrasound pictures.  And then when the 20 week mark rolls around, we’re all anxious to find out what the ultrasound results show of whether this one will be a boy or girl.  (well, speaking of American culture in general here, as I prefer to just wait and be surprised.)

 

It’s so, so different here.  For one thing, no one here talks about pregnancy, or when they think they might be due, or what gender they are wishing for.  At least not to me.  I wouldn’t be surprised if some of that sort of talk happens, but I can’t understand it unfortunately.  But right now, I have two friends who are both fairly heavily pregnant.  But when I’ve asked when they think they might be due, they just get embarrassed and say that they don’t know.  I’m sure they have a clue.  But also, neither one of them has any monthly checkups or heart beat checks or GDD tests or any one of the other “normal” practices in the western world.  They just go about normal life, working hard in the gardens, carrying unbelievably heavy loads of food or firewood or toddlers (or all of the above at the same time).

 

Then, when the time comes, they go off to a special house built usually on the outskirts of the village somewhere.  There, I don’t really know what goes on, but I think there are some women who tend to be more like midwives and help out with the deliveries.  There is no doctor, and if something goes wrong, the baby and or the mother could die.

 

Here, the women stay in the birthing house for about a month after the baby is born.  Then the general practice is that the mom and baby come out and go to the church on a Sunday and present the baby and that is when he or she is often given a name.

 

In the case of our co-translator’s new baby, he was out and about, so he was over a month old by the time we arrived.  But they went several weeks longer before getting around to naming him.  Finally, they were forced to name him because a traveling health worker came and was giving immunizations, and they needed a name to put on the immunization record card.  So he has a name now, Maks (Max).  It’s hard for me to fathom waiting a whole month, let alone 6 -8 weeks after my baby had been born to name him!  I know how many endless hours are spent discussing names and thinking about names and settling on the best name. But life here is different.  Matt and I were speculating that maybe families wait so long because the risk of the baby dying is a lot higher than what we have in the western world with good, accessible health care.  Maybe it’s easier to just wait and not give the baby a name until they are older and stronger and it seems like the chance of survival is higher.  I don’t know.

 

So anyway, I keep wondering if either of my friends here will have their babies before we leave on Nov 1, or not.  If they do, I wonder if I’ll be able to go see them and their babies before we leave.  And if they are going to have a boy or girl (they both have one little boy each already).  But I guess I’ll just have to be patient and keep waiting, since this isn’t something anyone here will talk about with me! =)