Forgiveness

Ok, so this is not a Christmas post.  Those will come (once I get all the pictures on the computer and such).

This is a .....hmmm... well, I guess this is a (very honest!) post just born out of an event that happened this week and the frustration I've been feeling because of it.

So, we realized on Monday (Christmas Eve) morning as the kids were riding their bikes and scooter that our tricycle was no where to be found.  It took us a few minutes to realize that No, the kids DID NOT have it with all the other ride-on toys they had taken across the street.  It wasn't in the house.  It had been stolen.  Right off our back porch.

I couldn't find a pic of Julianne on the trike, but here is when the kids got it for Christmas, 2006

We found out a few hours later that it had been taken the day before (Sunday).  We had been busy with church, lunch out at a neighbors, and then the evening Christmas Concert, so the kids weren't outside playing and we just didn't notice that it was gone.  We also found out that someone up the road had seen a national boy walking by with a shiny red tricycle early on Sunday morning.  They thought it was a bit suspicious but they didn't bother calling anyone or checking it out.  So the tricycle is gone.

Honestly, it's being taken is bothering me a whole lot more than anyone else right now.  I know one day soon, Julianne will ask to ride it.  She loves it and rode it almost daily.  But it just frustrates and angers me that someone would go through our yard (it wasn't in plain sight from the road) and take something that belonged to someone else. 

So now I'm just struggling.  I know I need to forgive this boy.  But I want him (and the tricycle) found and justice done.  I'm pretty sure that won't happen though.  It's hard.  I feel like I have to be suspicious of every single national I see walking through our yard, walking down the road with a bike, in nice shoes, etc.  I get so frustrated when if anything is left out in our yard for sometimes even just a half hour, it vanishes.  We have lost oh-so-many shoes that way.  I hate eyeing everyone with suspicion.  Deep down, I KNOW that not everyone steals things, but at the same time, I don't want to be the one who sees a stolen item going down the road and not say or do anything and then the owners have to deal with it's loss, knowing that there was a chance it could have been prevented.

Right now, I just want to build a fence around our yard to keep people out.  When I see someone walk thru the yard, I always wonder, "are they scoping it/our house out?"  I hate living like that.

I know about holding on to possessions lightly.  I know they are not the things that matter.  But it just feels so..... violating, I guess, to know that someone came into our yard to deliberately take something that did not belong to them.  I guess I should just be thankful that no one came into our house!

Anyway, so now I'm just asking God to help me forgive this boy.  I'm trying, but I can feel Satan continually bringing it back to my mind.  He's trying to make me bitter (and I could easily see that happening if I just continue to dwell on the theft and not forgive).

I guess I am wrong about this not being a Christmas post.  I mean, the whole reason Jesus had to come was because we were all such awful sinners who deserved justice.  But instead of justice, Jesus brings us forgiveness.  He came, and grew, and died for ME, who did not deserve it.  Thank you Jesus for the special gift of you, and your love and forgiveness.