This is my Life

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Struggles

This week has been a very hard one for me, emotionally. A friend, who shared a due date with me, lost her baby earlier this week (at almost 16 weeks). This was her third miscarriage, and I know I wasn't the only one praying fervently that this little one would grow healthy and strong and LIVE!

So not only was it heartbreaking to hear that she had miscarried, but I must admit that I have been angry. Angry at God for letting this happen, for not letting her baby live, for letting down her 6 year old daughter who had prayed this baby into existance. I know God is all-knowing and He knows what is best for all of us, and lets us experience hard times to grow us, but part of me is just mad. Why does she (and her family) have to go thru this hurt all over again?

I've been struggling with guilt too. Why do I get to walk around with my massively huge (or at least it feels that way!) pregnant belly when hers is now empty? I've seen her "across the way" a few times in the last few days, and while part of me wants to just go hug her and cry with her, even more of me wants to just turn invisible. I feel like I am this (ever increasingly) large reminder to her of what she's lost. And I'm ashamed/guilty to ever come into her line of vision (which of course, I can't avoid, living on a small center and being in the same Bible study and all that).

I don't always understand. Almost all of my friends have either gone thru a miscarriage or struggled with infertility at some level. It's so hard sometimes to walk around pregnant with a not-intentionally-planned gift, when so many of my friends are grieving and struggling.

Anyway, I guess I've vented enough for now.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Today I felt like a missionary...

I mean, who else makes their own powdered sugar?

It was actually ridiculously simple, it just took time and dirtied more dishes (and was an extra step to add in to the dessert I was making).

After my many years of living in PNG, I will never, ever take for granted walking into a massive grocery store and being able to get anything and everything I could ever need!

A Special Gift

A number of years ago, when Kaitlyn was pretty tiny, we recieved a special gift from Gramma Taylor (Matt's Grandma). She sent us a package with Resurrection Eggs.

I had never heard of them at that time, and I'm ashamed to say I didn't really give them a second thought. They sat in our cupboard for several years, before I once again remembered that I had them. By that time, we had a couple more kids, and Kaitlyn and Nathan were older. But I finally got them out of the cupboard and remembered to use them during the weeks leading up to Easter.

Am I ever glad I did! It is a fun, easy-to-understand way for the kids to really get a good understanding of what Easter is all about. And a good reminder for me too, as it helps me pause and think about all our Saviour willingly went thru, just so we could know Him and recieve his salvation. And I'm so thankful to Gramma (who has since passed away) for her thoughtful gift. Each year we get those Resurrection eggs out and do them together as a family. Two years ago, it was even more special as when we finished reading and opening the last empty egg on Easter Sunday morning, Nathan decided to give his life to Jesus!

So Resurrection Eggs are becoming an Easter tradition in the Taylor household.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Sugar and other surprises

This afternoon as I was making brown sugar, so I could then make cookies, I started to think about all the "normal" sorts of foods I have had to learn how to make since coming to PNG. Maybe some of you in the US make these sorts of things too, but I had honestly never ever even considered making them. I guess because every time I walked in to the grocery store, there they were, oh-so-convienent and ready to use.

Here, it's a little different. Sometimes we have a well stocked store and are able to get many things from Australia and the US. Sometimes we don't. And then there are just those things that we never have here, and if I want/need to use them in cooking, well, there's only one way to get them: make it!

So I thought I'd make a little list of stuff I make here, that I would never have thought to make (or had any need to) back in the US.

Stuff like:
brown sugar
cottage cheese
caramel
yogurt
cooked salsa (like Pace or such)
sour cream
cream of chicken soup (for all those recipes that call for a can!)
tomato paste/sauce (I haven't actually tried this yet, but I will be in the next week or so, as there are NO tomato products available in our store currently)

I'm sure there are plenty more, but this is just what's coming off the top of my head.

None of these things in and of themselves are super complicated (in fact, some are suprisingly simple), but it just adds more time to preparing food. Like today: I needed to bring a dessert to Bible study tonight, but I had no brown sugar. So I had to make some first. Or yesterday, I had to make the cottage cheese before I could assemble my lasagna.

I must confess.... as much as I do love to cook (especially when I don't feel like I'm just about to throw up everywhere), I am already looking forward to our time in Cairns (I know, it's months away still), where I can just go to the grocery store and buy most anything. =)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Sorbet!

I made this today and it turned out really, really yummy. It's definitely a keeper recipe:

Sweet and Silky Strawberry Sorbet

2 pounds ripe strawberries, hulled and chopped (or 2 containers berries from Market)

3/4 cup white sugar

pinch salt

1 Tbsp cornstarch

1 Tbsp cold water

5-6 tablespoons lemon juice

Place berries in the work bowl of a food processor and puree until smooth. Combine berry puree, sugar, and salt in a large saucepan. Heat until melted and just simmering. Whisk cornstarch into the cold water; stir into heated berry mixture. Remove from heat, and stir in lemon juice. Cool slightly. Refrigerate berry mixture until cold, about 2 hours.

Freeze in ice cream maker according to manufacturer's instructions.

I love trying out new recipes, but it's been a bummer lately because I've just been too sick for anything. And often, one of my worst times of day is from 4pm on, which is not good when I need to be making dinner for the family. We've had a plethora of grilled cheese sandwhiches lately, and boy oh boy, am I thankful for the 1 convience food I can get here: frozen chicken nuggets. When I can't send Matt to out to get something to go, or something already made like I could in the US, well, I take advantage of the few quick and easy (albeit expensive) things here.

But hopefully, very soon I'll be back to normal (mostly) and back to experimenting in the kitchen.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Favorite Memories of 2010 part 2

Getting to spend time with family and friends was definitely at the top of our families favorite memories.
Here are a few more things that we think of when we think of special times in 2010!

Getting to spend time with my best friend and her family

Waking up our first morning in Dallas to discover snow!

Julianne's 1st birthday

Getting to spend fun times with the McEvoys in Dallas

A first: swim lessons!

The waterpark in Topeka with Shirley and Jerry

A fun-filled day at Dan and Becky's farm in Topeka

Riding the 4 wheeler and motorcycle at Dan and Becky's

The super special treat of staying in "The Pool House" in Des Moines

Getting to spend time with good friends (We were so thankful to be able to spend time with so many friends, many of whom we haven't seen in years-some in almost 10 years!)

Discovering a hotel in Colorado that had a waterslide in it!

Getting our first-ever pet!

Me getting away on a girl's slumber party: my first time since having kids when I was able to get away from everyone for the night =)

Favorite Memories from 2010 part 1

There are so many special memories from the past year. Many of them are due to being home in the US and getting to spend time with family and friends and do things we aren't able to while in PNG.

Some of my favorites include: